Ask any one of my closest friends and they'll tell you I've been a little all over the place for the last couple years. Not sure what I want to do, where I want to go, what or who I want to be, taking and leaving the advice and guidence my parents gave to me as a child, making sense of teachers and professors advice, etc.... Mid 20's are quite a challenge sorting through most of this crap, some of it is great and some can be left at the door. There is one thing though that remains a constant and reoccuring theme that I've been learning as I keep trecking on; and that is that life is a tapestry.
A tapestry, for those who don't know, is "a piece of thick textile fabric with pictures or designs formed by weaving colored weft threads or by embroidering on canvas, used as a wall hanging or furniture covering." (Wikipedia) Or we can reference a quilt as well for this blog post.
Let me explain. I've been the kind of person to look for and pursue the BIG moments. Working at Juilliard, conducting musical productions, losing 150lbs. While these are big achievements and have taken a great deal of time, education and persistance, these moments are only one piece of fabric within the whole stitched together with time and doing. They aren't the end-all, be-all, nor should they be.
I was at the gym the other day and was flipping through the basic cable channels; Rachel Ray was on. She was being interviewed about her life and career as a celebrity and well-known TV personality. The interviewer asked her, and I'm powerphrasing, what she would change or do differently about her past if she could. She said she wouldn't change anything, even the things that were a struggle or that, at the time, seemed to be the worst moment of her life. She said that life is like a quilt and that if she were to change one stitch, it could change everything about the course of her life so far. Which reminds me, it's kind of like those time-travel episodes in Family Guy where if one little thing is altered in the past, it causes a chain reaction of events that can make life very different in the present and going forward.
It's not 2017 yet and I'm not a resolution type of guy. I'd rather set 3-5 big goals to work on for the year and achieve them. I keep learning that life is meant to be explored, evolve and unravel from moment to moment without us as human beings messing with the process and trying to control the direction of every stitch and aspect of our quilt/tapestry. Focus on each moment and enjoy the highs, lows, unsure areas, the scary parts, the happy parts, the confusing parts... it ALL makes up the quilt and tapestry of life; to resist these things is to resist what is and to delay putting together a fullfilling and rewarding life, whatever that means for you.
Try new adventures, make new friends, step outside of the box and attempt things and situations that are interesting, fearful, rewarding and exhilerating without hesitation.
I leave you with my favorite quote:
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever" - Steve jobs
Hello lovely readers!
It has been quite some time since I have been able to actually sit down and come up with something worthwhile to write for this blog... and you can imagine by the title of this one, that I'm still struggling! I've slowly been learning a concept that may seem obvious to most, but for me hasn't sunken in quite yet.
I spent the last few days reading through piles of books lying around the house, talking to friends on the phone, and pitter-pattering on social media websites for entertainment and to find some kind of "answer" to an unknown question lying deep in my subconscious. (I'm getting fancy now...) What I came up with is this: Everyone struggles with something!
You have no idea how profoundly comforting it is to hear that at my ripe ol' age of... twenty-something... To deny this reality only hurts ones self and doesn't allow room for growth as a person. In order to grow, there needs to be a struggle. Think about people who are muscle builders. Muscles need to rip and tear in order for them to grow and become bigger. The same is true with life. The good, bad and confusing situations thrown at us are used as a means for human beings to grow, develop and learn important life-lessons. Even though I do not know the "answer" to my said question, it's perfectly okay to not have an answer for why things happen and to just push through.
How many times does a baby have to fall and hurt itself in order to learn and walk? How many close-call-car-accidents does one person need to endure before he/she learns to slow down and not text and drive? It took Edison over 1,000 tries at the light bulb before he eventually came up with what we all take for granted today. The point is, we need to have struggles in order to grow. Even if the struggle is uncomfortable. Once we overcome a struggle, we grow and eventually look back with different eyes and a clearer picture of who we are and what we are all about (the "answer" to an unknown question).
I was always under the impression, somewhere in the back of my brain, that once I reached my goal weight, I would be done. No more. Finished. Ended. Could check it off my list of things to do. Don't have to think about it anymore. Don't have to work as hard in order to stay fit and healthy... Nothing could be further from the truth for me.
The truth is that I have, and continue to have, struggles within life and shouldn't expect them to ever go away. There is no "end" to them. However, how I choose to handle these struggles as they come, can either hurt, help or do nothing for me; the choice is mine to make!
"Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it..."
- Charles R. Swindoll -
Since the start of August 2013, I have been putting myself under unnecessary pressure and setting unrealistic expectations for myself, which in turn has caused me to use food as a way to cope with these feelings. This struggle has not been ideal, but I am coming out stronger and am learning to let go of the expectations I went in with. They make great goals for the future! But right now, they aren't helping my health and wellness.
I've learned, and now am grasping the idea, that any type of weight loss, weight management, health, fitness and wellness is a constant, ongoing process that will carry through all of my life. There is never an "end" to managing and maintaining my health. Being mindful of my lifestyle of health and wellness will be a sure way to keep off, and maintain, my weight for the remainder of my anticipated very long life I plan on living.
I hope you've enjoyed reading my ongoing "Everyone Struggles" saga. I find this all to be part of being a young, twenty-something in the world today. Although, I'm sure many folks who aren't twenty-something can identify with the things I speak of here. Put into practice just going with the flow of things and not react. I find this to be the best thing that works for me at this moment in time.
Have a safe and happy New Year everyone! Bring on the struggle! Until next time...